Yvain

I have a bad habit for meeting flaky girls.

I'm exhausted.

I'd already be in bed, wide awake, but at least attempting sleep, but my ipod is near death, so I'm charging it. I'm sure you'll read all about in tomorrow's papers - an exciting story like that doesn't come around too often.

Hiatus Over

I'm sorry to have been gone for so long! Rest assured I am coming back now. I have lots to write about. Here is my reading I am doing in my spare time:

The Tender Bar, J.R. Moehringer. (No, the guy from Dallas did not write this book. I already checked.)


The Plague, Albert Camus. (Dead rats errywhere.)

Meditations in an Emergency, Frank O'Hara. (I saw this on an episode of Mad Men during its second season and I've been wanting it ever since, so I finally bought it this week. It's just poetry. If anyone gets the chance - I'm talking to you, Libby - read the poem called "Mayakovsky".)

(this post has been HEAVILY edited.)

Goal

My new years resolution for the year, at the insistence of a couple of friends, was to be more smooth. I think I wrote about that on here. Anyway, that stopped after about four days. I think I'm going to try and bring it back into play next quarter (I kind of need to...), but I also want to try a new goal. I'm going to spend time on urbandictionary and gather various words and drop them on a daily basis. Maybe in here, but mostly in real life. I used to do this all the time in high school, but with sayings by Mr. Burns (you know, from The Simpsons).

Respite

I am finished. Finally. Time to write letters. And on here, stories.

Another Post about a Bus

Have you ever gotten on a bus and it's pretty crowded, so you have to sit with a stranger on a two-seater and since you sat there last, you had to sit on the outside? That's the worst. You spend the whole bus ride wondering what stop they're going to get off at and you just can't relax. Or maybe that's just me.

I want the wind to go away, just really fucking badly. 

ce n'est rien

So, nothing to really report this weekend thus far. I've just been studying. It's that time of year (quarter).

Interesting fact: I haven't used a pencil in class (aside from a midterm) since January. All of mine became dull and I think I lost my pencil sharpener or I became too lazy to use it. I don't know. Next quarter's a pencil quarter, though.

A little more

At the risk of my blog turning into a public dream journal, I'd like to point out that lately, I have been having dreams where I've been going to concerts. Like, Tuesday night, I saw Kanye West, and then Girls In Hawaii. This was weird, since I can't fathom a situation where Ye would open for a Belgian indie band, but hey, that's part of the fun of dreams, right? Then later in that dream, while I was in the store, Sufjan Stevens gave a performance of "I Walked" and "Impossible Soul". I think that may have to do with the fact that last week while I was in the grocery store, I was listening to "Impossible Soul". It's a trace. And then last night, I had another one, but this time I was seeing Dr. Dre! Except, he was running late as hell and wouldn't get on the stage until like midnight and was going to play until 3:30 in the morning. That's so G.

Girls In Hawaii, "Casper".

Last day of Classes today. oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Storm

Some girl had a petition to try and ban water bottles on campus and it made me realize that I am probably the last person at my university who drinks them. It's lonely at the top....

So, this is a clip from (most) of the opening piece from when I saw Godspeed You! Black Emperor last month. It's very powerful. And also, i don't think it's incongruous with the current weather right now.

I'm a Cactus

Today I turned into a cactus. I am slowly adjusting to life in this newfound green and prickly vessel. Food just doesn't taste the same now that I don't have taste-buds or a tongue. Also, I can't hug my friends anymore because whenever I do, they immediately leave my embrace, running, screaming about how they need to find a hospital post-haste because about a thousand of my needles are stuck in them. That's such a hyperbole. Also, I don't understand how they can use a word like "post-haste" in an emergency, because afterwards, they always pause to make sure they used the word correctly. Then, once they remember that they've stolen my needles, they ask me to drive them to the hospital. A highly laughable scenario given that I am now a cactus, and am therefore unable to drive. If you think I'm like that cactus from the Taco Time commercials, you're sorely mistaken. I'm way more cynical. And while they're panicking still (why they haven't left it is a mystery to me), all I can think about is how they've stolen my needles and I need those to act as a defense mechanism. For, since I am a cactus, I am replete with sweet cactus juices that animals in the desert are always trying to drink, but I need those liquids to live! Imagine, what if I were to be transported to a desert, all naked and sans protection? The roadrunners would have a field day and treat me like I was their own personal troff. That's not how it's going to end. My prediction is that I will stay right here in the living room where this metamorphosis happened - unlike Gregor Samsa, I didn't get the luxury of undergoing my hideous transformation in the comfort of my bed - until I become a burden (or nuisance; whichever comes first) on my current roommates, and am then shipped off to either a tacky Southwestern-themed museum in Kansas or I get to grace the living room of a retirement home in New Mexico. Yay. But really, I'd like to get placed out in the desert, or at least I would be if people would stop hugging me and pilfering my quills. Why are people hugging me so much? I'm a cactus! I suppose I could always ask the surgeons at the hospitals if they could give me my needles back after the surgery. But I don't have a tongue. And I'm a cactus.

When will you come?

I had one of those dreams this morning where my alarm went off and Sigur Ros, the band I set my iPod to play for my alarm, filled my room and then I lied in bed for a bit. And then, my alarm went off and Sigur Ros started playing. The weird thing is, is that I was totally cognizant that this was the real reality, yet the first time it happened, I still knew it was a dream. Perhaps my dream was a foreshadowing of what would happen in about five minutes? I don't know; I don't feel like getting into epistemology right now.

"There's an empty space inside my heart where the weeds take root, and now I set you free..."

I'm very excited for Wednesday night. But I don't want to say just yet as to why, for fear of jinxing it. I'm a neurotic.

Oh, so I'm in the library typing this up and this guy kitty-corner from me was clearly reading my Godspeed You! Black Emperor shirt. Or, at least, I assume he was. If so, then I am honored. I really like it whenever people compliment my shirts or try to read them from afar. I know some people get all butthurt about it, and that has always perplexed me. Their loss, I suppose.

We are discussing Derrida in my critical theory class now, and I am fascinated! It's really hard to talk about on a blogspot, though, since it's one of those things where you have to be in class to get it. Here's a little something from the Villanova roundtable discussion with him: "Maurice Blanchot tells this story. The Messiah was at the gates of Rome unreconginized, dressed in rags. But one man who recognized that it was the Messiah went up to him and asked him, 'When will you come?' [...] That is why the man who addressed the Messiah said, 'When will you come?' That is a way to say, well, as long as I speak to you, as long as I ask you the question, 'When will you come?', at least you are not coming. And that is the condition for me to go on asking questions and living. So there is some ambiguity in the messianic structure. We wait for something we would not like to wait for. That is another name for death." (Deconstruction in a Nutshell, 24-5). I don't think the citation is necessary, but it comes with being an English major. Or something. Anyway, that was just some food for thought.

Yes, Yes

I really do need to read this...

Dreams from Last Night

Around one in the morning last night, I started eating a pop-tart and one of my roommates advised against it, citing that it could give me terrible dreams. I disagreed, telling him that I've done it before and hadn't had any bad dreams. But it was too late; the very fact that he said that meant that my subconscious had picked it up and was going to give me bad dreams. Sadly, both he and my subcon - and unfortunately not my hubris - were right and I had bad dreams. 

There were three dreams that I had last night and I don't remember the first one.

The second one was the worst. Both my roommate who told me not to eat sugar so late at night and I were sentenced to life in prison. I was a wreck. I spent most of my dream bawling. I was sentenced to life due to insider stock trading, which was stupid since I don't even know how to do that AND in my dream, I didn't remember the trial at all. Someone just a left a note. But if you're curious as to what prison was like, it wasn't like how it's portrayed in the movies thank God, but it still sucked. It was weird because there were like sixty of us to a cell, but we each had our own cots (thankfully) and also I was allowed to have my cellphone. In addition to this, I was also allowed to leave prison to visit my parents and take walks. But only for the first week. I think that's what was also so terrifying. Just this weird middle ground between total freedom and no freedom. At this point, I should mention that it was really windy all last night and my window was open, and since I'm a light sleeper, I picked up the wind in my dream. At one point in the dream when I was out for a walk, I realized that I had to hurry up and get back to prison and the route I took was very scary. Everything turned to gray and it was windy and there were only two houses out and there was a man outside smoking a pipe telling me about how scary it was to live here. Then, later, I was back home and considered running away to an airport and flying to another country because I saw that someone did it on the news, but then decided that that would be a bad idea because I wouldn't really be living. Then I FINALLY woke up.

It took me nearly an hour to get over that dream before I could fall back asleep again. It was weird because in the dream I kept wanting to tell people about the dream I just had. Funny how that works. ANyway, I was at a party in this dream. And there were a lot of cupcakes, which was really cool. But I wanted to leave. And whenever I implied to my friend that I wanted to leave, she'd act oblivious and talk about how how the party was just starting and how we'd leave soon. 

No more sugar right before bed.

Frontin

While I may give one of my roommates a constant razzing about how he fronts all day erry day and shotguns haterade... it turns out that I front wayyyy more than he does. At least thrice a day more often. But I'm going to go watch "Modern Family" now and take a (temporary) break from all this frontin. If that's at all possible.

"The King of Limbs" Review

                                                        Radiohead - The King of Limbs


When Radiohead announced that on February 14th they would be releasing a new album five days later, they not only stole Valentine's Day's thunder, they got EVERYONE excited. I mean, the day before was the Grammy's and they had actually given out awards to good bands - The Black Keys winning Best Alternative Music performance for their awesome Brothers; Arcade Fire winning ALBUM OF THE YEAR for their magnificent The Suburbs, which was also my favorite album of last year as well - and now Radiohead announced a sneak-attack LP. Oh, and some friends and I got to see Godspeed You! Black Emperor that week as well, so it was pretty much the best music-week I've experienced in awhile and it's going to take some time to come off of the high of it.

But back to TKoL. There was a lot of speculation regarding it and then when a Japanese website accidently said there would be eight tracks, it got a lot of us worried because that is not a lot of material. Sure, there are lots of classic albums that have only eight tracks or less - most of Pink Floyd's stuff and Sigur Ros' ( ) to name a couple - but it was still chagrining. However, this is Radiohead and so us diehard Radiohead fans knew that these would still be primo stuff and worth the wait. Oh, and then because they are Radiohead, they decided to release TKoL a day early, which was probably the most unexpected thing they could've done.

Now of course, TKoL was worth the wait. But that doesn't mean that it hasn't been met with criticism. A lot of fans are complaining that it sounds like singer Thom Yorke's solo album The Eraser. I can sort of see the similarity, but it's mostly bunk in my opinion. I think people see that because a couple of the songs on the album were introduced when Thom was touring with side project Atoms For Peace. But basically, there is NO WAY Thom could've done all of this by himself. Jonny Greenwood's score through out the album proves that. For those of you that don't know, Jonny is the resident composer of the BBC concert orchestra, and so he brings a lot of strings and horns - which sound gorgeous - to the album.

In terms of breaking down the album, I'd like to try a track-by-track review. Remember, there are only eight tracks on here, so it shouldn't be too long. But first, some words of caution. This is not a rock record. This is a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing for fans like me who enjoy Radiohead's experimental side and love soundscapes, which there are plenty of. It is a curse because a lot of people still want Radiohead to go back to being the rock band they fell in love with bona fide masterpieces such as The Bends and OK Computer, but Radiohead still isn't going to do that. Sure, I'd like to hear Radiohead rock out again, but I also know that they've already done that and that they would be miserable doing that. (If you haven't seen their documentary Meeting People is Easy, you really should - it will show why Radiohead cannot handle being the biggest rock band in the world; though, they still are the biggest band in the world, regardless.) Tangents aside, here is my review of the tracks.

01. "Bloom" - such a gorgeous opener. Radiohead do what they do best with this opener and write a song about being underwater (but never surfacing) amidst a soundscape of a looped twinkling piano line and a chilling horn section. The beat sounds like something Flying Lotus would come up with - a compliment, no doubt. The atmosphere reminds me of the early version of "Arpeggi", due not only to the orchestral swells, but because of how it literally makes you feel like you're trapped underwater with no chance of escape. Great start. 5/5

02. "Morning Mr. Magpie" - I was so excited to see this included on TKoL because I have the original version that was played on a webcast and I loved it. It was haunting and the lyrics were simple, but excellent: "You know you should / but you you don't". So why am I still not used to the album version? Probably because I have heard the original and sometimes feel that this is just a weird remix. However, the atmosphere is excellently done, yet again. As other reviews have pointed out, the high-pitched siren in the background brings out the sensation of paranoia/alienation that only Radiohead can provide. So I'm still getting used to the song, but Colin Greenwood's bass work is topnotch and the chugging guitars are great. I like a challenge, so bring it. 3.5/5

03. "Little By Little" - My least favorite on the album. I cannot get into this one yet, which is sad. But there is Radiohead, and there is lots of potential for it. As is the case with me, songs that I don't like at first usually become my favorites, so I won't be surprised when I start playing this song first. Yet, it's still a matter of "when". Although this song does get the award for lyric that is most likely going to be quoted the most (Radiohead's last album, In Rainbows, had the award go to "House of Cards" with the line, "I don't wanna be your friend / I just wanna be your lover") - and that line is: "I'm such a tease / and you're such a flirt". What happened to singing about aliens hovering above, sucking lemons and cutting the kids in half, Thom? 3/5

04. "Feral" - a cool instrumental. It's the most energy you'll get on the album, so enjoy it. This track is proof of just how tight a rhythm section Radiohead has. It also sounds like it may have been influenced a little by Burial. 3.5/5

05. "Lotus Flower" - First off, the music video. It's great and it's funny to see people's reactions to this (syncing Thom's dancing to Beyonce and Lady Gaga! Tosh.0 even making fun of it!) but this isn't new territory for Thom Yorke. Thom always has been dancing like this, and that's one reason why we love their live shows. But as for the track, I have to say that I love it. The jam in the beginning, the weird noises and most of all, Thom's singing. I think this is the best Thom's voice has been in a decade. He really makes you feel his pain. (Then again, he's always been able to do that, but he just does it better than usual here.) When he sings, "There's an empty space inside my heart / where the weeds take root / and now i set you free", try NOT feeling an empty space in your heart. A new Radiohead classic? I sure hope so. 5/5

06. "Codex" - Ever since "Pyramid Song" on Amnesiac, Radiohead have included a somber piano ballad on each of their albums. "Codex" is this album's "Pyramid Song", complete with Thom's heartbreaking coo-ing. When I first listened to TKoL, this was my favorite track. The piano actually sounds like it's underwater!  The lyrics display a wistful take on "Jump[ing] off the edge into a clear, blue lake / no one around / just dragonflies". I haven't been this moved by a song about swimming at night since R.E.M.'s classic song "Nightswimming". I think this is the kind of song that you listen to after you go swimming with your friends at night in summer and then when the lyrics hit you, you cry out of happiness. And then, when you're older and you listen to this song - because you will be - this will bring back those memories and prove just once again how potent nostalgia really is (If I may borrow from Donald Draper, that is). 5/5

07. "Give up the Ghost" - Thom Yorke loops himself singing "Don't haunt me" through out the song and it makes for a very eerie atmosphere. With the acoustic guitar and the chirping birds intro, this song makes me feel like I am in a haunted forest and needing to get out quickly because it is dawn now and if I spend another day or night out here, I will turn into one of those spooky jellyfish-like ghosts on the cover. It goes without saying that this is the song that best sounds like the cover art. Speaking of the artwork, this is my favorite cover of theirs since Amnesiac. 4.5/5

08. "Seperator" - Listening to a Radiohead album is a lot like reading a novel, and I always get chills thinking about what the last line will be. Now, Radiohead has probably the best track record for last lines in albums ("Motion Picture Soundtrack": "I will see you in the next life"; "Street Spirit (Fade Out)": "Immerse your soul in love"; "Videotape": "No matter what happens now, I won't be afraid because I know today has been the most perfect day I've ever seen"), and "Seperator" does not disappoint. "Wake me up" may not be their best, but it still packs an emotional punch. However, my favorite line in the song - and on the album - is, "Finally I'm free of all the weight I've been carrying". Thom really does sound sincere when he sings that. The lyrics and sound are great in this one, per usual. The line, "If you think this is over, then you're wrong" are being interpreted as an idea that Radiohead are going to release more tracks in the future and that this is just the first installment of a TKoL installment. I certainly hope so, since 37 (albeit quality) minutes leaves us wanting much more. Anyway, great, wistful way to end the album. Although, I do find it funny that Thom started off in the ocean with whales, and is now up in the sky with the birds.

I know that this is a tough listen the first few tries, but like all classic albums, it will "unfurl, as [a] lotus flower" - and be just as beautiful.

Overall: 9.1/10

A Catalyst is Needed

Drawn curtians and the lights reach the furthest corner, like the foam from a fire extinguisher after it is discharged. The birds chirp outside but don't fly in, for fear of being caught in the fire that is still blazing from the night before. The fire extinguisher didn't work. It expired the day before. So, we left the apartment on fire and the dishes in the kitchen melted and the walls were warped from the heat. Or at least, they probably were before they were burnt. I think someone wanted to call the fire department - probably Bill - but, after telling him to relax, I told him that fires can't burn forever and that eventually it will stop. So long as there isn't a catalyst. Like wind. Then, fourteen hours after the fire started and Sarah got a heat rash from standing too close to fire, there was a tornado. It sucked because it started just right outside our window, or at least where our window used to be; it's hard to say anymore, since windows are clear and I didn't want to risk running over there and checking. (As bad luck would have it, I left my good shoes right below the window.) But anyway, there is a tornado now and all that wind is causing the fire to kick back up again and it is roaring now. The brightness hurts my eyes and I left my sunglasses right next to the window, so I have to have Bill look at it and describe it for me. He won't do it. He already tried and an ember flew up and landed in his eye. Why hasn't anyone called the fire department yet? Or, better yet, why can't I text the fire department? Or the tornado people? The tornado has mingled with our apartment fire now and I think the tornado is on fire, and well, that's just great. It's summer and really hot and I think the cold is the only thing that can quell this fire and that's not going to happen for several months. Maybe in four months this fire will die down. Our apartment shouldn't last longer than two months, even without the walls. We probably can't sleep here tonight. I think I'll crash at my buddy Zariem's house. His name is made-up and he's a DJ. Sarah will probably come too. That means Bill will have to stay and keep an eye on the fire. He's going to be bummed when I tell him, but he doesn't do anything on Friday nights anyway, so who cares.

This is Really Happening

Sleeping Giant

It's disgusting how busy I've been lately. Finally, it all caught up with me on Saturday when I was taken down with the flu. I'm feeling better now, but I'm still a little wary of going to classes tomorrow, but I have to. It's pretty important. I know I always say I'll post regularly, and then I do for a couple days, and then I stop for weeks at a time. But I think I will. I want to write a story this weekend and share it with you all.

Radiohead is releasing a new album on Saturday and I am very excited. Too excited to concentrate, really. So many conspiracies. I'm pretty positive "These Are My Twisted Words" will be on it, or the songs will probably follow in that suit.

GODSPEED YOU! BLACK EMPEROR on Thursday. I have been obsessively looking forward to this since September. I'm going with my friend Andrew and he's as equally excited as I am, so it's just going to be an all around awesome evening. Expect a review.

I also have a lot of reading this week. I need to get back to reading Mrs. Dalloway like right now (it's amazing) and then some Kant. Oh, and I have to write a 500-word position paper on King Lear that is due on Friday (day after godspeed) so guess what I'm doing all tomorrow night?

Nothing too important to say

a hijacked heart.

No snow here. But it is cold enough to snow. It's really sunny. No clouds. Outside is an assault on all of the senses. (That's probably stolen from somewhere.)

The tragedy of inaction far outweighs the tragedy of action.

Nervous

"Beauty will be CONVULSIVE or will not be at all."
- Nadja, Andre Breton

The best part about my anxiety towards tests is that I generally have pretty bizarre dreams because my mind is all worked up in knots...

The Mix-up

Today in one of my classes, when a group was doing a presentation on Rene Magritte's "The Treachery of Images", I raised my hand and talked about how it could relate to Bertolt Brecht's playwriting, in the sense that Brecht's plays made sure the audience knew that they were watching a play, and that nothing in the play was plausible to real life. (For those of you haven't seen the piece, it's a painting (oil on canvas) of a wooden pipe, and then underneath it, it reads "ceci c'est ne pas une pipe" (this is not a pipe).) I brought up Brecht because by Magritte informing us that it is indeed not a pipe, he wanted to show people that it was just a painting of a pipe, and therefore, it cannot be a real pipe. My professor seemed to think it was a pretty good point, but the group presenting seemed lost and didn't respond to what I said. Turns out, we never discussed Brecht in this class. We discussed it in another class I'm in. My three philosophy of literature courses are all starting to blend together now and I may not be able to keep my stories straight. So, it got me thinking. If I were to be dating three different girls concurrently without either of them knowing about each other, I could go four weeks before I started to confuse what I was doing with one, as opposed to another. Not too shabby. (Except I have to get the one girl first.)

Across the street

fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffBRAKES

LOUDLOUDLOUDLOUD

quiettttttttttttttttt

Allegro

                                                      They walk down the

                                                                    Street

birdschirpingbirdsdying(tooclosetothesun)

                                                     They walk down the street, he wanting to 

                                                             hold herr hand, she hoping he doesn't

(((((((BLUShes)))))))

a collective guffaw bellows from the trees that will someday be flattened to make way for a center dedicated to solving the mystery of the disappearance of the trees.

May 9th, 1947

I had a dream a couple of days ago that dealt with a certain day in the past. The date was written on the palm of my hand or my arm or something. Anyway, I meant to look it up when I woke up, but got distracted. Yet the date still stayed with me. Kind of. I wasn't sure if it was May 7th, 1947 or May 9th 1947. So I looked up both a few minutes ago. The former resulted in nothing. Not even a notable birth. However, May 9th 1947 is Victory Day in the Former Soviet Union...

I Want to be Well

I need to get back to posting everyday, even if I have nothing to say. I went to a party last night. Probably my first since new years eve... I bought cough suppressant so I can hopefully get rid of this cough I've had for way too long. Seriously. I cannot take it anymore. The pharmacist asked me if I was smoker, and since I'm not, I think I may be in the clear.  But I guess we'll see in a week. Normally, I wouldn't blog about such health issues, but since it's just a cough, it doesn't really matter.

Oh, so I'm in Mix CD club, and I happened to overhear the person who got my mix. She seemed to not be aware of a few of the artists (there were only six songs on there since they were pretty long) but her friend (whom I met at the last Mix Cd club) told her that those were all great bands and then she got very excited about how she got such a good cd. That made me happy. The CD I got this time looks good, but I haven't had the time to listen to it yet. Royksopp and The Mountain Goats are on it, so that's a very good sign. Plus, the artwork is great. Much better than the last mix I got, which was replete with Top 40; like Taylor Swift and Sean Kingston (but not even his "Fire" song - i could at least laugh to that)...

Anyway, I'm working on a story right now. I have a little over a page of it done. It's very funny. In one of my classes, my professor was talking about how Gertrude Stein wrote her girlfriend's autobiography and the concept of writing someone else's autobiography was comical to me, so that's what I'm doing with this upcoming story.

Mambo is Dead

I do believe it was Nietzsche's cousin, South-American Salsa sensation Fredrico Nietzsche who said, "Mambo is dead."

My New Years Resolution

My new year s resolution is to grow a spine

Attachment

Nothing today. I start classes soon enough. Being around people will give me inspiration. I have inspiration, I just don't know how to use it yet. I'll be reading a lot of books on philosophy this quarter (not one, not fifty, but two books by Plato). And Derrida. And Breton. And Beckett. Hopefully, all this reading won't take away my light, comical stories. I don't want to lose the rare ability to make people find my stories funny. So, instead, I'm hoping I'll be able to incorporate what I've learned and make my comedies less light, and have some actual substance. Also, I want to explore new ideas, as the previous two stories I have written dealt with Absurdism and Existentialism. It could be a colossal failure of misplaced pretentiousness. (Or an worse fate, it could just not be funny.) Either way....