Goal

My new years resolution for the year, at the insistence of a couple of friends, was to be more smooth. I think I wrote about that on here. Anyway, that stopped after about four days. I think I'm going to try and bring it back into play next quarter (I kind of need to...), but I also want to try a new goal. I'm going to spend time on urbandictionary and gather various words and drop them on a daily basis. Maybe in here, but mostly in real life. I used to do this all the time in high school, but with sayings by Mr. Burns (you know, from The Simpsons).

Respite

I am finished. Finally. Time to write letters. And on here, stories.

Another Post about a Bus

Have you ever gotten on a bus and it's pretty crowded, so you have to sit with a stranger on a two-seater and since you sat there last, you had to sit on the outside? That's the worst. You spend the whole bus ride wondering what stop they're going to get off at and you just can't relax. Or maybe that's just me.

I want the wind to go away, just really fucking badly. 

ce n'est rien

So, nothing to really report this weekend thus far. I've just been studying. It's that time of year (quarter).

Interesting fact: I haven't used a pencil in class (aside from a midterm) since January. All of mine became dull and I think I lost my pencil sharpener or I became too lazy to use it. I don't know. Next quarter's a pencil quarter, though.

A little more

At the risk of my blog turning into a public dream journal, I'd like to point out that lately, I have been having dreams where I've been going to concerts. Like, Tuesday night, I saw Kanye West, and then Girls In Hawaii. This was weird, since I can't fathom a situation where Ye would open for a Belgian indie band, but hey, that's part of the fun of dreams, right? Then later in that dream, while I was in the store, Sufjan Stevens gave a performance of "I Walked" and "Impossible Soul". I think that may have to do with the fact that last week while I was in the grocery store, I was listening to "Impossible Soul". It's a trace. And then last night, I had another one, but this time I was seeing Dr. Dre! Except, he was running late as hell and wouldn't get on the stage until like midnight and was going to play until 3:30 in the morning. That's so G.

Girls In Hawaii, "Casper".

Last day of Classes today. oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Storm

Some girl had a petition to try and ban water bottles on campus and it made me realize that I am probably the last person at my university who drinks them. It's lonely at the top....

So, this is a clip from (most) of the opening piece from when I saw Godspeed You! Black Emperor last month. It's very powerful. And also, i don't think it's incongruous with the current weather right now.

I'm a Cactus

Today I turned into a cactus. I am slowly adjusting to life in this newfound green and prickly vessel. Food just doesn't taste the same now that I don't have taste-buds or a tongue. Also, I can't hug my friends anymore because whenever I do, they immediately leave my embrace, running, screaming about how they need to find a hospital post-haste because about a thousand of my needles are stuck in them. That's such a hyperbole. Also, I don't understand how they can use a word like "post-haste" in an emergency, because afterwards, they always pause to make sure they used the word correctly. Then, once they remember that they've stolen my needles, they ask me to drive them to the hospital. A highly laughable scenario given that I am now a cactus, and am therefore unable to drive. If you think I'm like that cactus from the Taco Time commercials, you're sorely mistaken. I'm way more cynical. And while they're panicking still (why they haven't left it is a mystery to me), all I can think about is how they've stolen my needles and I need those to act as a defense mechanism. For, since I am a cactus, I am replete with sweet cactus juices that animals in the desert are always trying to drink, but I need those liquids to live! Imagine, what if I were to be transported to a desert, all naked and sans protection? The roadrunners would have a field day and treat me like I was their own personal troff. That's not how it's going to end. My prediction is that I will stay right here in the living room where this metamorphosis happened - unlike Gregor Samsa, I didn't get the luxury of undergoing my hideous transformation in the comfort of my bed - until I become a burden (or nuisance; whichever comes first) on my current roommates, and am then shipped off to either a tacky Southwestern-themed museum in Kansas or I get to grace the living room of a retirement home in New Mexico. Yay. But really, I'd like to get placed out in the desert, or at least I would be if people would stop hugging me and pilfering my quills. Why are people hugging me so much? I'm a cactus! I suppose I could always ask the surgeons at the hospitals if they could give me my needles back after the surgery. But I don't have a tongue. And I'm a cactus.

When will you come?

I had one of those dreams this morning where my alarm went off and Sigur Ros, the band I set my iPod to play for my alarm, filled my room and then I lied in bed for a bit. And then, my alarm went off and Sigur Ros started playing. The weird thing is, is that I was totally cognizant that this was the real reality, yet the first time it happened, I still knew it was a dream. Perhaps my dream was a foreshadowing of what would happen in about five minutes? I don't know; I don't feel like getting into epistemology right now.

"There's an empty space inside my heart where the weeds take root, and now I set you free..."

I'm very excited for Wednesday night. But I don't want to say just yet as to why, for fear of jinxing it. I'm a neurotic.

Oh, so I'm in the library typing this up and this guy kitty-corner from me was clearly reading my Godspeed You! Black Emperor shirt. Or, at least, I assume he was. If so, then I am honored. I really like it whenever people compliment my shirts or try to read them from afar. I know some people get all butthurt about it, and that has always perplexed me. Their loss, I suppose.

We are discussing Derrida in my critical theory class now, and I am fascinated! It's really hard to talk about on a blogspot, though, since it's one of those things where you have to be in class to get it. Here's a little something from the Villanova roundtable discussion with him: "Maurice Blanchot tells this story. The Messiah was at the gates of Rome unreconginized, dressed in rags. But one man who recognized that it was the Messiah went up to him and asked him, 'When will you come?' [...] That is why the man who addressed the Messiah said, 'When will you come?' That is a way to say, well, as long as I speak to you, as long as I ask you the question, 'When will you come?', at least you are not coming. And that is the condition for me to go on asking questions and living. So there is some ambiguity in the messianic structure. We wait for something we would not like to wait for. That is another name for death." (Deconstruction in a Nutshell, 24-5). I don't think the citation is necessary, but it comes with being an English major. Or something. Anyway, that was just some food for thought.

Yes, Yes

I really do need to read this...